Pre Registered Obsession #1: Pounding the Pavement in 2011

I hate my job! I know it’s probably bad to start a blog on a negative note, but it’s just the truth. I have the worst job… well, I’ve ever had and I’ve had lots of different ones. The pay is good, really good, but it seems that the company delights in sucking every drop of my personal life away from me.  I work seven days a week and often work 12 hour shifts.  So, in the meantime I have been using what little free time I have to find a better job or, at least, one that will let me have a day or two off.

Which brings me to something I hate almost, more than I hate my job… Finding a job.  Gone are the days when one could just walk up to the manager and say, “sir I’d sure like to have a job,” and the deal was struck with handshake. No, you have to sign your life away, tell about every single detail of your life, and answer the same question posed differently five different ways. “What is your ethnicity”? “White- not Hispanic.” “ Are you Latino”? “No” “Are you from Mexico”? “NO.” “Are you sure, under penalty of perjury, that you are not Latino and not from Mexico”?”YES”!

Then there’s the unemployment office. No sorry, the workforce services. We must use the proper p.c. euphemism. To paraphrase Strongbad, it’s a good thing they don’t allow bazookas into these places or most of my experience at the workforce services would end in smoldering-crater fashion.  The person behind the counter is my biggest peeve. This person thinks that since I am coming to them looking for a job, that I must be a complete idiot, else I wouldn’t be looking for a job, so they, very rudely, point me to the nearest computer, give me a number that will give permission to look for jobs on their website, and then go back to reading their vampire drivel.  I leave the office, after hours of waiting to realize, that I just wasted three hours that I could have spent in the comfort of my own couch. And, indeed I could have because everything else is online.

Swiftly leaving are the days when you can even go to manager, fill out a paper application, and then hopefully talk to the manager about the job. Everything is online now. Will the internet totally destroy our ability to make quality, face to face contact with society? That is another post for another day.  That being said, there are a lot of job-finding sites out there. There is monster.com, jobs online, snagajob, and myriad of other similar sites. What you will find is that they are all in cahoots. Before you can apply for a job you must set up an online profile, much like setting up an email account.  What this does is give the company permission to send you job alerts, which you do want, and spam, lots of spam, which you don’t want. You really should set up a separate email account for these things if you don’t want to filter through them to get to other personal emails. You’ll get emails like, “join the army,” “get a degree in four weeks,”  “enlarge things,” and “hottie555 wants to get down with you tonight”!  Often, when you click on a desired job to fill out an application, it will direct you to another job directory, where you must set up yet another profile and get , yet, more spam.

After signing up for the all the directories you finally get to the actual application process. Here are few useful tips.  First of all, go ahead and type up a résumé.  It does not have to be a great one, though that helps. It just needs to have all the pertinent information about you and your employment history. Many of online applications will allow you to post that and then go ahead and fill in that information for you, saving you minutes of filling our your name , phone, et cetera.  You will still have to carefully explain to them that you are or are not Latino, but it saves a moment or two. Second, make sure you have time to fill out the application. These things can take up to two hours to complete. Why? You ask. The answer is that there are so many people who are now graduating from our schools systems without fundamental reading, math, and social skills that many employers feel the need to test you to see if you can function in their environment.

After Jumping these hoops, will I get a response from the employer?  Likely not.  Likely they didn’t even read it.  The experience is so exasperating. I hate to see what it’s going to be like when Anna has to try and find a job.  Just makes me want to go to bed and take a nap. But wait! No!  Filling out that application has almost made me late for work so I’m off for another eight hours of tort…. I mean work. Let’s hope that I’m soon successful.

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